Not all who Wander are Lost

originally published in 2017

I visit an assisted living facility here in Oklahoma City a couple of times per week that specializes in caring for adults with dementia. Most of the folks I see have been diagnosed with dementia of the Alzheimer’s type. I admit that some of the time, I hurriedly get into and out of the facility, doing my speech therapy “work”, and then moving on with my busy schedule. This results in me looking at my electronic device, looking at the “patient”, looking back at my notes, looking at what they are doing, looking at my device, and then leaving. In doing this, I spend 45 minutes with the “patient”, but I, like so many others, spend less than 10 minutes with the Person.

This week the Lord called home one of the great leaders and role models of my hometown. Clyde McMurray, beloved friend, father, coach, school administrator and friend to the people of my hometown of Bowie, Texas lost his battle with Alzheimer’s and went to Heaven to be with God. Over his long life and career, Clyde touched the lives of many students, athletes, and citizens of Bowie. The reach of his impact has been felt across multiple generations and no doubt across the world. I remember him as my junior high principal being strong, but fair. What then seemed like a hard, strict man was really a confident, caring man showing his care and concern about the safety and wellbeing of my fellow classmates and me. Clyde lived a life that left a footprint…one that will continue to show even after he has gone.

Tonight when I was visiting the facility, I slowed down, took in the room, took in the People, and remembered Clyde. I noticed people who have been CEOs of companies, who have been nurses, who have been teachers, who have been ranchers, who have been moms and dads, who have been husbands and wives….People who have been People. People who had lives that mattered, that made a difference.

Alzheimer’s is a tough disease, but it is some times most difficult for the loved ones of the person who has the disease. At times during the disease progression the person can become violent and hurtful. They can say words and things that was never been part of their vocabulary. Other times, they can become distant and not recognize their family of 50 years. But it is not their fault, it the consequence of the disease process. The outward behavior and appearance is not the core being. What you see is not their soul.

Me not paying attention to the person is not typical of me. I try my hardest to recognize them and remember that they mattered; a lesson taught to me by Clyde’s wife Janet when I was student of her’s in the Bowie Junior High PAL program. The people I see as my patients are the same people they always were, the way God intended for them to be, but with a condition that is outside of their control.

The lesson that Clyde’s passing reinforced in me, one that was taught to me by him and his wife so many years ago, was that all people are who God intended for them to be, but sometimes they wander. I think that when a person has a disease like Alzheimer’s it is a little more tangible that something has changed about them, something visible, and something that they cannot control. When the rest of us “wander” it is less easy to see. It is hard for us to understand why someone can say hurtful things. Why they do the things they do. Why the act the way they act.

The lesson that God taught me tonight was that from time to time we all wander, and that just because we wander; just because we change, doesn’t mean that we are not still fundamentally the good people He created us to be. We are all still created in His image, and we can all seek his mercy, grace, and salvation that was afforded to us by His son Jesus Christ.

Alzheimer’s is a tough disease the impacts the person, the family, and the community. Being disconnected and distant from God can have similar consequences. Regardless of what is afflicting someone, we should never give up on a fellow human being when they are not “themselves”. People matter, they should always matter, and we should never give up on them!

Bless you Clyde McMurray for the lasting impact you had on this world, and may God continue to use the lessons you and your wife have imparted to me to make a lasting impact in my life and in the lives of those that I touch. Amen.

“For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” Luke 19:10